How to deal with big changes in your life: Part 1

Resiliency reflects a person's capacity to rebound from stressful life events. For some persons, stressful life events can lead to catastrophic consequences, whilst others slowly disintegrate from the inside. Ideally, when we are faced with big changes in life, we would be able to take on the challenges proactively and resolve matters in manageable bits.

Today, we'll take a look at the "Brittle" nonresilient style. We will look at the other styles in later installments.

Imagine being a piece of fragile figurine sitting on the shelf. Gorgeous bisque glistening in the eastern light. The slightest bump would cause the beautiful porcelain to fragment into bits scattered all over the floor. You can be repaired with some patience and a handy tube of quick-setting glue. What remains is something that remains damaged with bits missing, leaving you easier to break. You try to ignore slights and hold your impulses and remain emotionally over-constrained.

As a result, you have difficulty communicating your needs. When you are having BIG changes in your life, it is especially important to make your needs known to your spouse, friend, boss .... whomever you have identified as having some potential to help you through these difficult times. Take some time to talk things through. It's okay to let your emotions flavor this experience. If you feel your emotions overwhelming you, take a few breathes and try and take in the support you receive from the people around you ... because, you know you have a tendency to block it. Taking in the support will help you have more strength to endure. The next time someone bumps the table, the porcelain figurine will not crack so easily.